Fall Preview

Once again, it’s time for an exciting preview of the upcoming fall season!

Do you love dogs? Do you love clowns? Then you’re going to loooooove Big Shoes, Bigger Hearts, a new reality competition show where ragtag teams of disgraced hospital clowns race across the city to kill shelters in order to prevent dogs from being euthanized! You’ll laugh til you cry and then laugh again and then probably cry a little because you weren’t fully done crying the first time. Tuesday nights on CNN. (Warning: the clowns are very incompetent and often fail in their tasks, so you will be watching dogs die.)

It’s another season of Ghosting Sven! Sven Supersven and his enthusiastic gang of ghost hunters are at it again! After fourteen persistent seasons, will they finally see a ghost? Probably not because ghosts don’t exist and neither do angels and you’re seriously an adult who still believes in this kind of thing? Harry Potter wasn’t a documentary, dummy. Fridays on Spike TV.

Dr. Drake Cobrafang returns to Mercy General! Will he continue his streak of unsolved murders of hernia patients or will Detective Nora Slacks finally put an end to his reign of terror?  (Note: this is not a television show. If at all possible, you should really avoid getting hernia surgery at Mercy General Hospital.) 

Weather wise, temperatures will continue to rise above averages this fall, especially around that dreamboat Don Johnson’s house. Hot hot hot! Yum yum, give me some! Am I right? Who’s with me?

There’s a high pressure system… in my shorts!