Haikus about Characters from The Facts of Life

Blair Warner

Brendan’s schoolboy crush

Turns out she’s a Jesus freak

Tragic boner death

Jo Polniaczek

Soft-hearted tomboy

She dated Michael J Fox

Parkinson’s her fault

Tootie Ramsey

Remember the one

With a fake Jermaine Jackson?

The 80s were weird.

Natalie Green

Secret sex with Snake

Unexpected horny teen

Admit it - you would.

Mrs. Garrett

Able housemother

Left the Jackson kids behind

Coleman’s death her fault

Geri Tyler

I can’t make the same

Jokes I made in middle school

I’m so mature now

George Burnett

With such a mullet

Even he’s unfuckable

Holocaust of hair

Beverly Ann Stickle

I always wanted

To shop at “Over Our Heads”

Did they sell dildos?

Gordon Chumway

Weird episode when

Alf ate Cloris Leachman’s puss

I might have dreamed that.

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