Halloween Costumes: Past and Future

“What is your Halloween costume this year, Brendan?”

Isn’t it weird that this is a question we still have to deal with in the adult world? When I was a kid, there was always a sort of unspoken understanding that we would age out of dressing up for Halloween. It was a thing that little kids did. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined I’d be fielding Halloween costume inquiries well into these, my Colonoscopy Years™.

I thought it was over in fifth grade. My mother was a costume whiz, so she could whip up anything I could imagine. I was really into Thundercats that year, so she made me this amazing Lion-O costume. I’m sure the photo exists somewhere, but this was in the pre-digital age, so you’ll just have to imagine my 11-year old self dressed up like this guy:

I hadn’t grown into my muscles yet.

The day after Halloween, I came into school with a little bit of leftover yellow makeup still behind my ear. Bathing was apparently not a big priority for pre-pubescent Brendan. As I was lining up to go into middle school, this kid Mark Lasagna (not his real name) was standing behind me. He spotted the makeup smear. “Oh my God - did you dress up and go trick or treating last night?”