I Got Kicked Out of the Improv Group I Started
Yup. Buckle up for another “Brendan Gets Humiliated” article! I know how you love my pain, you sadistic little monkeys. Here’s the story:
As I mentioned in a past article, I have recently fallen in love with improv comedy. I have been taking classes at Upright Citizens Brigade and World’s Greatest Improv School ( both highly recommended) and been attending every drop-in class and jam I can get my greedy little yes-hands on. It would be an understatement to say I’ve caught “the bug.” Most nights of the week, I’m either doing or watching improv. Even by needy improvisor standards, I’m going a little nuts.
After taking classes and attending jams, I wanted more. I started talking with a classmate about starting a practice group with the plan of it turning into a team. He was way into it and we started hatching plans. Immediately, I started assembling an all-star team in my head made up of classmates and fellow jam-goers who I thought were funny. I made a list and everything. Indie teams are generally six-eight people, so I knew I had to select wisely to build my dream team - the hilarious Avengers of Improv.
Very quickly, it got out of hand. My number one draft pick (who I found very funny) said he’d love to join and can he bring his two friends? Another woman who I invited brought a friend and then immediately dropped out, leaving us with the friend I hadn’t recruited. My co-founder of the group invited a few people I hadn’t met… long story short, the team I co-started was full and I had selected exactly one person in it.
But it didn’t matter! The point was to practice and get better. At the end of the day, a skilled improviser should be able to work with anyone, so I looked at it as an opportunity to hone my nascent skills by playing with people with whom I didn’t necessarily find funny. So we got to work - several months of weekly practices with a coach. It was hard, but I was enjoying it. We weren’t very good, but we were getting (a little) better. We were advised by our coach that playing some shows would be good for us, so I started reaching out to show producers to get us on some indie bills. It was surprisingly easy - the LA indie improv scene is super supportive and loves to give opportunities to new teams. We had our first show on a Saturday night at the Clubhouse. It was all very exciting!
The show went well - we got way more laughs than we expected. The hosts were over the moon and asked us back for next month’s show. Everyone seemed pretty happy. It was just about as good a first show as you could ask for. Which is why the phone call I got on the following Tuesday was such a kick in the nuts:
“Yeah, we want you to leave the group. It’s not personal. It is a bad fit comedically. No hard feelings, everybody likes you,” etc etc.
Wait, Brendan - so you got kicked out of your own group? Yes. Yes I did.
But wouldn’t it have made more sense for unhappy people to leave your group rather than kick you out? Yes, yes it would.
How could this have happened? Because it’s comedy. It’s supposed to be humiliating.
On the one hand, it really wasn’t a huge deal. We had only done one show. I’ve been in enough bands and creative situations over the years that I understand that sometimes it’s not a good fit. Logically, it is better to know that early and end things. This isn’t the type of thing that’s going to end up in the ol’ eulogy. And honestly, I don’t want to be in a group that doesn’t want me.
But on the other hand… fuck, man. It hurt. This was my group that I started. I was being vulnerable with these people. I think the part that hurt the most was that a decision was made about my life without input from me. You know that feeling where you realize people have been having conversations about you when you’re not there? That’s the worst, right? I wish that if there were a problem, I had the opportunity to address it. I am still very new to improv, so if I were doing something that was bothering people I would have liked to know about it so I could correct it. I feel like this is a missed opportunity for me to learn and get better. No one owes me that, but it would have been nice. It’s just a bummer.
I have always prided myself on handling rejection well. I am an indie filmmaker. Rejection is part of the deal on a near-daily basis. Because of the pure tonnage of rejection I’ve experienced, I usually clock about five-ten minutes of feeling bad before I pretty naturally stop giving a shit. But this one stuck a little longer. I’m not angry or resentful about it - this is probably the best outcome for everyone involved. But it’s the powerlessness that gets me.
In retrospect, the level of emotion I felt seems silly. I mean - it’s an improv group, right? By its very nature, it’s a ridiculous thing to do. “I got kicked out of my improv group” sounds like the first line of a hilarious comedy sketch. And I know that rejection has nothing to do with my value. If someone doesn’t like chocolate ice cream, that doesn’t change the value of chocolate ice cream. Some people are just going to not find me funny or fun to play with. I know this intellectually. But this is a painful reminder that knowing something intellectually doesn’t actually mean shit in the moment. Rejection hurts and there’s no way around that. I just had to endure the pangs of nausea and a few sleepless nights and just sit in it until it was over.
Stupidly, I’m signing up for another round. I’m on the lookout for another superhero team of improv comedians. If you’re interested, please sign this iron clad contract that you won’t kick me out of my own group. Also, we don’t need anyone with underwater-based powers. I mean - when are we going to do improv in the ocean?
Boogie Writes is a completely independent endeavor by one hard-working funnyman trying to make his way in the world today (which takes everything you’ve got.) If you like what you read, please subscribe, support, and tell a friend! Also - do you need advice? Of course you do! Send your queries to brendan@brendanboogie.com with “Dear Boogie” in the subject and get some solid or at least passable advice!