Obituary Madlibs

MADISON J. WHITEBURGER (1948-2023):

We are  _HORNY_   to announce the passing of Madison Whiteburger - our   _SILLY_  mother, grandmother, and   _RHINO NUTS_. Madison is survived by her daughter Gladys, son-in-law Jerry, and nephew   _TED BUNDY_ . Raised in during the 50s in rural   _WONKALAND_  , Madison worked as librarian in the public school system for   _69 (HA HA)_  years, teaching the   _VACUOUS_  elementary school children about the wonders of   _NUN-FISTING_   and   _DAVE MATTHEWS BAND RULES!_  .  

In the 1970s, Madison started the _KEVIN SUCKS_ Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to forwarding the cause of  _I DON’T SUCK, YOU SUCK_  . She met her husband   _ACTUALLY YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SUCKS, KEVIN_   on board a cruise ship called the HMS   _CAN’T YOU JUST STOP PICKING ON ME AND ENJOY THIS MAD-LIB?_   on a tour of the Bahamas, Virgin Islands and   _STOP BEING SUCH A BABY I’M JUST KIDDING JESUS CHRIST_  .

In lieu of   _HERPES_  , send a donation to   _HERPES_   Children’s Hospital. Services will be held from 3pm - 5pm at   _HERPES_  Funeral Home.