The 2023 List
We almost made it through another year! Everyone loves a good year-end list, right? Here’s some notable quotable potables from the year that is wrapping up:
Favorite nonsense phrase that I predict will be big in 2024: “notable quotable potables”
Favorite word: nougat (four decades running. Can’t top this one.)
Favorite noise: exasperated sigh that happens whenever I sit down or stand up
Favorite movie: Theater Camp. It’s a small, conventional “let’s save the camp” movie but it’s absolutely fucking hilarious. Honorable mention: Priscilla
Favorite TV show: Mrs Davis. Betty Gilpin as a nun trying to hunt down an out-of-control AI? Sign me the Christ up! It was really funny and smart and well done. Honorable mention: Poker Face
Favorite Trump indictment: It’s hard to pick just one, isn’t it? Even though the crime is a lot less severe than the whole “election interference” thing, I have to go with the hush money one because that makes me think of Stormy Daniels which makes me think of boobs because I’m twelve.
Favorite music I discovered that everyone has been listening to for years: Billie Eilish. Have you heard her stuff? She’s fantastic! Why didn’t anyone tell me? You think a talent like that would get a little attention.
Favorite argument that doesn’t matter at all anymore: Whether we should make jokes about the billionaires that died in that submarine. Remember that? It was weeks of that shit. For the record, I landed on ‘Yes we should be able to make jokes because humor is a natural human response to being reminded of our own mortality, but I won’t be saying anything because expressing anything online is exhausting and not worth it.” This was my policy throughout 2023 and will likely continue.
Favorite face to punch: Let’s see… there were so many punchable faces… how to choose just one…
Favorite ineffectual act of kindness: When the screw randomly fell out of my glasses, I happened to be walking by an optometrist’s office in Burbank. I walked in and asked if they had any of the little repair kids. The lady said, “We don’t but we’ll fix it for you!” She took my glasses and they fixed and cleaned them, no charge. It took like a minute. Human kindness! Of course, the screw fell out again a few hours later. But kindness doesn’t always equate to competence! I can’t complain about a free service, right? Can I? I can’t, right?
Least favorite discovery: Chris Gaines is actually just Garth Brooks in a fucking wig? What?
Favorite government moment: When that senator challenged a teamster to a fight on the Senate floor.
A couple of things made this a favorite. First off, I was surprised by how unsurprised I was when I saw it. This guy is a pretty accurate reflection of the American people, isn’t he? Emotionally, we haven’t evolved past middle school. “If a guy challenges you, you have to fight him no matter how old you are!” might as well be written in Latin on the five dollar bill. That’s how immature we are as a nation.
Secondly, it wasn’t that big of a news story! It’s just another absurdity in a long list of absurdities we’ve had to witness by our ‘trusted’ officials over the past several years since the facade of adulthood fell. I do love Bernie Sanders trying to maintain the professionalism of the whole thing, though. It’s admirable to still think this silly republic is worth saving. Good on you, Bernie!
Second favorite government moment: Remember when there was no Speaker of the House? That was funny.
Favorite discovery: Nope, it turns out Chris Gaines and Garth Brooks are totally separate guys.
Favorite list of 2023: Definitely not this one. I’m really sputtering my way out of 2023, aren’t I? I mean - Chris Gaines jokes? What is this - 1993? Sorry, folks - it’s been a rough year. I’ll get ‘em next time! Maybe!
Boogie Writes is a completely independent endeavor by one hard-working funnyman trying to make his way in the world today (which takes everything you’ve got.) If you like what you read, please subscribe, support, and tell a friend! Also - do you need advice? Of course you do! Send your queries to brendan@brendanboogie.com with “Dear Boogie” in the subject and get some solid or at least passable advice!