The Brendo Bot

Isn’t artificial intelligence amazing? Half the time, we don’t know if we’re chatting online with a real person or some sort of sexy-ass robot. I thought to myself - I want to get in on this! So at great personal expense, I hired an AI to write this essay for me!

Here’s how it worked: I loaded all of my essays into the bot for scanning so it would get a sense of my writing style, frequent words I use (as long time readers know, I am partial to the word ‘sisyphean’), and habitual grammar patterns. Next, I had to come up with a topic for the essay. I thought it would be fun to see what the AI came up with about my first sexual experience, so I plugged in a few basic facts about the encounter. Then, I just put my feet up and let the bot do the writing!

So here it is - a completely automated essay! Enjoy!

My First Sexual Experience

By Brendan Boogie

It was a sisyphean night. I was accustomed to crying alone. But that night, I would hate to watch cartoons with anyone but myself. It was a different kind of mojo.

She was short and unsatisfied. She had large, sisyphean rib balloons. For some unknown reason, she had not yet run from the werewolf in my soul. She took a sip of Colt 45 from the Stanley Cup and said “You are the only hombre left in the palace. Would you care to disappoint my dreams?”