The Winkler-Hanks Summit

The most surprising feud in Hollywood is not Will Smith vs. Chris Rock or Vin Diesel vs. The Rock. No, that title belongs to the decades-long ill-will between two of the most famously nice guys in town: Henry Winkler and Tom Hanks.  Believe it or not, America’s beloved uncle and America’s other beloved uncle have had bad blood ever since Hanks got Winkler fired from directing TURNER AND HOOCH.

These two guys? Really?

This will not stand. Not on my watch. Using my immense power in the biz of show, I brought these two powerhouses together to finally squash the beef. Though cameras and recording devices were prohibited, I present to you my notes from my attempt at diplomacy. 

Tuesday 10am:  This has not started off well. The original plan was to meet on Monday at 9am, but in classic gamesmanship neither one wanted to be the first to show up. So I sat in a room for 24 hours waiting. Luckily, I had soy sauce packets to sustain me and a second hand janitor bucket for my leavings. Finally, Winkler showed up on a vintage motorcycle in full Fonzie greaser gear, refusing to say anything but “Aaaaaay!” for the first three hours. An obvious intimidation gambit that quite frankly I expected. What I did not expect was that instead of showing up himself, Hanks sent the volleyball from CAST AWAY as his “consigliere.” Predictably, Winkler flew into a rage, tossed my printer out the window, and challenged the staff of a local 7-11 to a 50’s style dancing knife fight. Luckily, I intervened before anybody pulled anything. A rough opening to negotiations, but we’ll shake it off and try again tomorrow.