Unexpected Error
A few days ago, I logged into facebook, as has been my habit for the last infinity number of years. To my surprise, I was logged out. As it turns out, the entire system was down for everyone, but at the time I didn’t know this. I was told my password didn’t work. Then, I attempted to reset my password. That didn’t work. I got an “unexpected error” message. I tried all the steps they prescribed for recovery. There seemed to be no easy way to get into my account. Clearly, someone had hacked in and figured out a way to keep me out of it. Perhaps at one time, that would put a panic in me. But to my surprise, my first thought was:
Am I… free?
Like most of you I’m sure, I have a complicated relationship with social media. I resisted it back in the early 1930s when it all got started, but eventually bowed to peer pressure and got a goddamn facebook account. Generally, I went into it kicking and screaming. I am not oblivious to the benefits of staying connected, especially after I moved across the country. It’s not without its good points. But in general, I have a sour feeling about facebook and have been attempting to spend less time on social media as the years go on. If I didn’t have movies and shows and whatnot to promote, I don’t know that I would be on it at all. So why haven’t I pulled the plug?
Getting rid of Twitter was easy. Once that narcissist Nazi sympathizer dude bought it, it was a no-brainer to stop using it. I am really good at principled moral stands that no one gives a shit about. I canceled Netflix, stopped watching the NFL, and boycotted many a coffee shop over ethical stands that don’t matter to anyone but me. Ask me about them - happy to talk at length about why I stopped watching… wait, come back! Don’t walk away! I’ll stop - I promise!
I am on Instagram, but mostly I use it as an address book. As a middle aged dude in Hollywood, it seems markedly less creepy to ask people for their IG than their phone number when I meet them. But as far as time actually spent perusing the app… it’s just a bunch of people’s cat pictures, right? Why would I give a shit about that?
For some reason, Facebook is a trickier one. Mainly, there is a lot of documentation from my past up there. It’d be tough to say goodbye to all that stuff. Plus, there’s the whole “invitation to events” thing that has been super valuable in staying connected. I have access to almost everyone from most phases of my life. As I thought I was permanently locked out of my account, I asked myself the question: can I live without the past?
Honestly? I felt ok about it. Especially since it happened through no choice of my own. The gods of technology had decided to kick me off the island. Regrets, I’ve had a few… but what was my life going to be without a constant source of stimulation? Would I feel more peaceful? Less connected? Lonelier? Honestly, I was excited to find out!
Then, without explanation, my facebook account was magically restored. I suppose it was a small relief that my account wasn’t hacked. I’d hate to think my elderly relatives were clicking on links thinking I was suddenly inexplicably selling sunglasses. But I was also weirdly disappointed. I thought my long social media nightmare was finally over.
“So Brendan,” you may be asking yourself as you smugly sip on your matcha coolatta, “If you don’t want a facebook account, why don’t you just delete it?” The answer is… I don’t know. I’m afraid of something. I’m not sure exactly what it is. It feels like cutting off facebook would be saying goodbye to hundreds of people I’m not all that close to in the first place. Maybe someday I’ll be ready to do that. In the meantime, I passively welcome the destruction of social media, both personally and as a whole. I guess when it comes down to it, I’d rather be murdered than commit suicide. (Too dark for a closing thought? Nah, we’ll end with that. Good night!)
Boogie Writes is a completely independent endeavor by one hard-working funnyman trying to make his way in the world today (which takes everything you’ve got.) If you like what you read, please subscribe, support, and tell a friend! Also - do you need advice? Of course you do! Send your queries to brendan@brendanboogie.com with “Dear Boogie” in the subject and get some solid or at least passable advice!